Depression, anxiety and dyspraxia

I’m absolutely awful at exams. I find it so hard to remember and retain information which why I often get better results in coursework and practical work. I’m often clumsy and find it hard to do the simple things like tie my laces, do up buttons.

Pretty sure I was the last kid in my year to be able to tie my own tie.

The one thing I am proud of, and this is going to sound so vain, is that I can do my own eye liner with straight edges and actually just where it needs to be. So it’s not all bad.

I also bite the skin around my nails and I’m constantly biting the inside of my mouth and my lips. I’m literally doing it without even thinking about I can’t stop. Whether I’m bored, anxious or worried I will not stop.

Another thing I’m proud of this month is that I went to the doctors, to talk about my feelings and emotions. I’ve never been to the doctors without my mum and I felt so proud to get it off my chest by myself. He suggested anti depressants or yet ANOTHER counsellor to help me – I have been through 5 counsellors.

At this moment in time I’ve learnt that my wrapping skills really are as bad as i thought they were and that I’m trying so hard not to explode at my parents and my little sister. I feel like I can’t deal with anything anymore.

Yours sincerely, Maddie🦁🖤



4 thoughts on “Depression, anxiety and dyspraxia

  1. Jane Coates Walker says:

    Hey Maddie; I have a grandson with Dyspraxia. He is 10 yrs. old. It is hard for prople who love you see you struggle and not be able to help. Everybody needs patience. I pray for good things in your future. Thank you for being willing to share.


    • backfiredmaddie says:

      Yes it is very hard. Especially for my mother whom is around me the most. We all try put best and I guess some days are noticeably worse than others. Thank you so much for your kind words! And thank you so very much for taking the time to read my blog. Best wishes Maddie x


      • Chris says:

        I really value what you talking about in this blog Maddie The Great!!:), I am dyspraxic and that bubble that no one understands me or people like us are in is sometimes really hard to just accept, you want answers for why you see, learn, experience the world in a completelty different way to everyone else, but i find that that barrier is the thing that makes us great!! my dad always says that ‘not everyone has a chris’ and my little quirks are the things that make me mee. Dont give up trying to appreciate the you, the whole you!:) chris

        Liked by 1 person

      • backfiredmaddie says:

        Aha thank you Chris! Your kind words mean a lot!☺ it’s so weird coming from a school where people didn’t know what dyspraxia was. And I also have extra time in exams for it and they think that dyspraxia is something I’ve made up and doesn’t actually affect me. It’s so comforting to hear other people going through the same thing☺☺
        yours sincerely, Maddie x


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